“I’m proud of you.”
Every son loves—and needs—to hear those words from his dad. Too many have heard, “Try harder … work harder … not quite …” As a result, many grown men, with sons and grandsons of their own, are still trying harder to win the blessing from their fathers.
In one of the most poignant chapters in the Old Testament, twin boys (Jacob and Esau) vie for their father’s blessing (Genesis 27). In Esau’s anguished cries, we can hear the desperate need of the blessing—“Bless me, even me also, O my father! … Have you not reserved a blessing for me? … Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father.”
Since I’ve been a dad, those cries have challenged me to make sure my son (and my daughter) know how proud I am of them. I hope I have succeeded.
May I tell you a secret? Dads love to know that their sons are proud of them, too.
Last night I finished my scheduled acting for 2016 in FBC Bowie’s production of “I Stand in Awe.” I’ve done four performances in 2015-16 and my kids have not been able to travel from the panhandle to see any of them. But, the church streamed it live last night, and they were able to watch it from their living rooms.
They both texted after it was over and gave their completely biased assessments of my performance. But these words from my son—the actor, with a degree in theater education—put an extra spring in my step: “You did a fantastic job and I am so proud of you!!!”
Yes, with 3 exclamation points.
Before I make a broader application, I want to encourage dads to tell your sons and sons to tell your dads, “I’m proud of you.” Don’t make them work for it. Give it as a blessing! Those words are yours to give generously or to withhold selfishly. They are some of the most powerful words you will ever speak.
Some of the most powerful words you will ever speak: I'm proud of you. Click To Tweet
The broader application: Those words of blessing have power that extends beyond family. In fact, one of my favorite verses from Proverbs (11:11) says, “By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, But by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down.”
Just as constant criticism and withheld blessing can send our sons down the wrong path, the same can be said of our communities. Speak words of blessing over your community. Tell people the reasons why you love living where you do. Find something worth celebrating and celebrate the fire out of it! Give three praises for every one criticism. And if you can’t find anything praiseworthy, be quiet or move.
Or better yet, start something praiseworthy!
Our lives matter too much to God for us to spend them as critics. I’ve given up trying to please critics, but I’ll run through a wall to live up to a blessing.
I’ve given up trying to please critics, but I’ll run through a wall to live up to a blessing. Click To Tweet
