“You have an interesting sense of humor.”
That sentence followed, “I enjoy reading your newspaper column” when I was introduced to someone at a funeral visitation. After 4 years of writing newspaper columns, I never know where I’m going to meet a new reader.
I took the sense of humor comment as a compliment because the context seemed to favor that interpretation. But I still had to reply, “Well, ‘interesting’ is definitely a good description.”
At some point in our lives, most of us are going to have to figure out how to take a compliment. Mason Cooley said, “We are prepared for insults, but compliments leave us baffled.” I actually addressed this issue earlier this year in a blog post that did not also appear as a newspaper column (How to receive “warm” words – January 27, 2015). I’m not going to duplicate that post in its entirety, but here are some excerpts from the thoughts I shared about how NOT to respond:
Arrogance – “I was good, wasn’t I!” Most people won’t really say that, but we might just fail to acknowledge the compliment. Arrogance may not be intended, but we may give the impression that we think we are too good to speak to someone who made the effort to bring the compliment.
Faux Humility – “Oh, it was nothing, really.” We don’t believe it was nothing, do we? If it really was nothing, why did we bother to do it? Seriously! Do we really have enough spare time on our hands to spend it doing nothing and doing nothing publicly? It was something to the person bringing the compliment.
Spiritualized Faux Humility – “It wasn’t me, it was all God.” Here’s the truth: God could have used anyone He wanted. He doesn’t need us. Here’s another truth: In this circumstance, God chose to use US and He has gifted and equipped us for this moment. Do we really want to deny the work of His grace in us—and through us in the life of another person—just so we can look spiritual?
Self-abasement – I’m not talking about self-deprecating humor. I’m talking about a true belief that you are without any worth to God and His kingdom purposes; that just how unworthy you are is going to be found out at any moment. If you really believe that about yourself, please spend some time with a counselor who can guide you through a process of understanding who you are in Christ.
So, how should we respond? I want you to try these two simple words on for size: “Thank” and “you.”
Two words to use in response to a compliment: THANK and YOU Click To Tweet
Once you get those mastered, you might really go out on a limb and say something like,“Thank you. I really appreciate your kind words. It was my pleasure.”
When we take a compliment that way, the person giving it has been acknowledged. The compliment, received. The blessing, returned. And God has been glorified in our attitude as well as our words. Actions … words … attitudes … they all matter to God.
