Why you need a safe rant zone

Would you like to know what really bugs me?

If it were important for you to know that, you already would.

There is a reason for that. I intentionally try to be lavish in celebration and cautious in complaint.

There exists in our culture an overabundance of negativity, offense, hyper-sensitivity, and the willingness to shout it from the rooftops (because misery does indeed love company).

Life is full of disappointments and is even fuller of the sharing of those disappointments.

I just don’t want to be that voice adding to the cacophony of crankiness.

But make no mistake—there are some things that really strip my gears!

Yesterday, one of those things happened.

The more I thought about it, the more sad, angry, and disgusted I became.

So, I fired off a text message—not to the persons involved in the offense, but to my safe rant zone.

Do you have one of those?

If you don’t you need one.

In my safe rant zone are two guys with whom I share a birth year, vocational trajectory, several interests, and a very similar approach to life in general.

Though we have never articulated a list of our commitments to each other, we know that some commitments that have developed over the years are that we will listen without judgment, laugh at what’s funny, keep confidential what is shared, offer support always and feedback when requested, pray always, and not let each other completely lose all perspective and drive off the rails.

That last one was really important yesterday.

One of the guys had access to some information that filled in the gaps in what I had heard.

It didn’t eliminate completely the source of my irritation, but it provided the clarity to keep my irritation more objective and in proper perspective.

The greatest gift is that it allowed me to release my personal sense of offense.

Had I posted my irritation publicly, I might have gotten the missing information, but I would have likely created more conflict and done unintended damage.

Had I just kept it to myself, it would have simmered for a long time.

Your safe rant zone may look different from mine in composition, but I’m pretty sure the commitments I mentioned would serve any cohort of encouragement well.

And here’s a biggie that I really didn’t mention in the earlier list. A safe rant zone cannot be built on the idea of having a safe place to rant. Otherwise, it will inevitably morph into an echo chamber of negativity.

It’s only a safe rant zone in the context of deep friendship. I just flat out like these guys and enjoy sharing the journey of life with them. One has been a friend for over a decade. The other, for almost three decades. I don’t know how long they have been friends with each other, but it’s been a long time.

We didn’t set out to create this group, it developed over a long time of being friends.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Who’s in your cohort of encouragement? Who should be?

Be amazing today, my friend.