It really is an epidemic! I got a lot of response from last week’s Life Matters, in which I talked about protocols for helping those with Hand Raising Syndrome (HRS) and No-No-itis (NNI) learn to say “No” without regret. One reader even made a point of calling me to thank me.
I announced then that this week’s edition would be addressing protocols for those suffering from AGD (Ain’t Gonna Do it) or HOS (Happy On the Sidelines), both of which result in a perpetual “no.”
AGD and HOS are not healthy “no” responses. Symptoms include loss of passion, vision, and clarity, usually resulting from long-term exposure to low-trust, high-guilt, performance-based atmospheres where contributions are measured, not valued. Many once suffered from HRS or NNI and never learned to say “no” without regret. As a result, they burned out, adopted a perpetual “no,” and became observers instead of participants in the adventure of life.
The protocols for addressing these are not about identifying “yes” activities, but about crafting YOUR powerful “YES.” I mean one driven by your identity, not by external requests. Jesus gave a key to responding to requests, when He said, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37, New Living Translation)
Here are 3 questions to help you craft your powerful “Yes.”
- The Vision Question: “What do I want my life to look like in 5 years?” You may say, “I don’t know what will happen to me in the next 5 years.” That is symptomatic thinking. Life is not about what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us and making choices that lead us toward our vision. So, begin asking, “What deliberate choices do I need to make today that will increase the likelihood of achieving my 5 year vision? What will I regret NOT doing if I haven’t done it in the next 5 years?”
- The Passion Question: “What matters most to me?” What keeps you up at night? I don’t mean your worries; I mean the things you dream about when awake … that get your adrenaline pumping … that you would do full-time if you had unlimited resources … that incorporate your deepest values. That question led me to craft my personal mission statement: “I am an intentional explorer, seeking to bless, encourage, and empower others on their journey of faith.”
- The Legacy Question: “How do I want to be remembered?” When your life’s journey is completed, what do you want people to say about you? When you meet God face-to-face, what do you want Him to say about you?
Our lives matter so much to God that He will help us craft our powerful “Yes.” Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” That doesn’t mean He will give us our selfish desires, it means our desires will develop out of our delight in Him.
Question: Which of the above three questions challenges your thinking the most?
Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
