Do you suffer from HRD?

Put your hand back down!

Do you have “HRD” ( Hand Raising Disorder)?

When someone is looking for volunteers do you automatically raise your hand or sign up on the list?

When someone asks if you can do them a favor, do you agree before asking what the favor is?

Is “being helpful” your top goal in life?

When evaluating opportunities, is your ability your only criterion (“I can do that.”)?

Put your hand back down for a minute.

I love helpful people. I want to be a helpful person. Sometimes the most gratifying thing in the world is knowing that you helped.

And sometimes the fact that it is gratifying doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do.

In my 58 years, I’ve had a lot of experiences and done a lot of things. There are quite a few things that I can do to some degree. The list of things I can do well is a shorter list, but still fairly extensive. The list of things I can do exceptionally well is a really short list, but it still exists.

But the fact that I CAN do something doesn’t necessarily mean that I SHOULD do it.

In Will Mancini’s new book, “Younique: Designing the Life God Dreamed for You,” he writes: “The key to life is not being distracted from your one ‘must-do’ no matter how many ‘can-dos’ come along.”

Here’s something to remember every time your hand starts to go up in response to a request—Every time you say “yes” to something, it requires you to say “no” to something else.

I’m thinking this morning about some questions to ask when the requests come. Here are some initial thoughts on internal questions:

1. To what will I be saying “no” if I say “yes” to this?

2. Is this something that really needs to be done? Right now? By me?

3. Am I robbing this person of an opportunity to grow if I do this for them?

4. Do I have a clear understanding of my “must-do” that helps me evaluate every “can-do” that arises?

And here are some initial thoughts on external questions:

1. When do you need this done?
2. What part is giving you the most problems?
3. Who do you know that is really good at that?
4. What are you trying to accomplish with this?

And here are some initial thoughts on at least one question to never ask: “What can I do for you?”

It is much better to ask, “What assistance to you need right now?” This question allows the requester to pause and consider the next best step and allows you to determine your best response.

One legitimate response is, “I don’t believe I’m the best person to help you with that. I believe my best contribution would be _____________.”

That sounds great in theory, right? Here’s a big truth: Some people will not like that answer!

But, here’s an even bigger truth: They will respect you more for an honestly considered “no” than for a knee-jerk “yes” with no follow-through.

Jesus said, “But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.” (Matthew 5:37). 

One of the best tools I know for discovering your “must-do” is the Younique gospel-centered life design experience. If you are interested in knowing more, click here.

Be amazing today, my friend.