“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.” (Mark 10:13-16, English Standard Version)
One of the things I miss most about being a pastor is the children. Oh, I still see kids at church every Sunday. I still engage with them in conversation and tell their parents how cute they are. But they are not “my” kids and I’m not their pastor. I miss the little ones who know me and come to me for hugs. The ones who hang onto my leg and want me to try to be a walking, talking jungle gym. The ones who know I’m safe. The ones who know I love them because I touch them appropriately.
In this world of “stranger danger” we have lost many opportunities for hands-on love. The much publicized inappropriate touches have created a wariness and hesitance toward appropriate physical expressions. Many are advising that we (especially ministers) NEVER hug a child (or a member of the opposite sex).
While I understand the need for caution, I grieve the loss of innocence for children and the loss of the sense of acceptance that ONLY comes through appropriate hands-on love. Some current research seems to indicate that somewhere between 1-4% of the population may be pedophiles. That is alarming and disturbing to be sure. We absolutely must protect our children in every way that we possibly can. But let us not forget the other side of that statistic: 96-99% of the population are NOT pedophiles. Being afraid of 100% of the population will not protect our children, and it is no way to live.
Both children and adults need to be touched appropriately. Christ-followers must take the lead in doing it well. Some ways occur to me:
- Determine the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touch and teach it to our kids.
- Determine the difference between “caution” and “fear” and teach that as well.
- Don’t withhold the gift of hands-on love through appropriate touch.
- Make every touch a blessing.
- Be proactive in making use of the best resources available, such as criminal background checks for anyone who works with children and teenagers.
Question: What other ways can you think of?
