I heard a highly successful pastor tell about high school test. As the grades were returned, the students began discussing and comparing. When he got his, instead of a grade, there was printed in large red letters simply the word, “NO.” Imagine the conversation between two teenagers: “Man, I got a 72 on that test! What did you get?” “Um, I got a NO.” That will bless your heart!
One of my favorite columnists recently mentioned the coffee mug in his office that says, “I am silently correcting your grammar.” As the father of a former high school English teacher, I always love to share those kinds of jokes with her—like the picture I saw of a bespectacled dog looking at a piece of paper. The caption read, “Bad grammar, run on sentences, misplaced punctuation … I can’t eat this!”
It’s fun to make jokes about it, but there are a lot of professional “correctors” out there. They love to point out shortcomings. They love to highlight faults. They feel compelled to share “constructive” criticisms. They may enjoy writing letters to the editor and posting the latest political exposé on Facebook. They may write blogs and newspaper columns … Oh, wait a minute … I think I just became “they.”
It is so easy to move into “corrector” mode and, sometimes, perhaps even often, it begins without malicious intent. But there’s a phrase I coined many years ago, when I was a young adult on the receiving end of a lot of advice. Now that I am not so young and am in a position to offer advice more than I receive it, I have to remind myself of what I said back then: Unsolicited advice is seldom appreciated.
I don’t want to be the guy with the big red pen, compelled to point out and correct everything that is wrong in the world, the church, the family, etc. It is not that I don’t care; it is actually based on a Biblical principle.
“Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.” (Proverbs 9:7-9, New Living Translation)
I am not aware of any research, but I suspect that the number of people whose minds have been substantially changed by a letter to the editor, a Facebook post, or even a sermon is near ZERO, with this caveat: IF the deliverer communicates genuine love and concern in delivery AND IF the receiver is genuinely open to learning. No matter which end I am on, I can only control one of those.
Our lives matter so much to God that He wants to be able to write His YES on our lives. Will we be open to His wisdom?
Question: What adjustments to you need to make as a deliverer of wisdom? As a receiver?
Leave a comment, I’d love to hear your perspective.
