How do you want to be loved?
Perhaps you favor a classic romance story. Perhaps you are more inclined toward the hero story, where one self-sacrifices the opportunity for personal romantic love for the sake of the benefit of many in need. Perhaps you are one who recognizes that the selfless love of a mother for her child is the nearest thing to perfect love.
The truth is, we all want to be loved passionately, heroically, and selflessly. Yes, even the manliest man wants to be the beneficiary of love like that. It just looks a little different in our imaginations.
The truth is, we all want to be loved passionately, heroically, and selflessly. Click To Tweet
But there is an inherent trap in our search for that kind of love. Seen properly, we can be captivated by love. But a distorted view results in being held captive.
What’s the difference? To be captivated is to have one’s attention and interest held by something so excellent and amazing that we willingly and freely embrace a new reality. To be held captive is to be a prisoner, enslaved and dominated by the choices of another.
If you are captivated by love, neither your sense of worth nor your ability to love others will change based upon their responses. If you are held captive, you are dependent upon being treated a certain way. Otherwise, you will feel wounded, threatened, or fearful of losing the love to which you so desperately cling.
There is truly only one love that is so captivating. Best selling author Ted Dekker describes it this way in his new book, The Forgotten Way:
“To be sure, loving as Yeshua [Jesus] loved is not something you will perfect in this life, but the awareness of that true love will radically change your experience in this life.
Imagine being accepted and truly loved exactly as you are at all times by your partner or friends, no matter what you do or don’t do. Now imagine your acceptance of them in the same way and focus on this latter state of being.
In such an ideal manifestation of love through the power of the Holy Spirit, no matter what they did, you would look at them without blame, feeling whole. What joy would then live in your heart, you who are unprovoked and keep no record of wrong. What love you would then offer your partner, yourself and the world. How invulnerable you would be, in the world but not of it.
You would hold no record of wrong when they broke their promise to you, in the same way your Father holds no record of your wrong when you, like the prodigal, turn from Him so many times each day.
You would not be annoyed by them. You would not secretly wish they looked differently, or were more appreciative, or were more honoring of you or made more money. You would simply love them, seeing beyond your need for them to be or not be any certain way.”
My friends, do we not all long to be loved that way? We ARE so loved by God, because He does not depend on our responses for His own sense of wholeness and fulfillment.
How will we demonstrate our captivation in loving that way today?
