“Just do it.” (Nike, 1988)
“Do or do not. There is no try.” (Yoda, 1980)
How many times have you said it – “I’m going to try to get that done just as soon as I can.”
How many times have you actually done it? And how long did it take?
Speaking from personal experience, I’ve got a few tasks that have been lingering for years. (Decades?)
Maybe you’re better than me.
Or maybe we both need a better approach.
What if that approach included choosing better habits?
I think there is a powerful myth about habits that needs to be dispelled. And once again (yes, once again), it all comes down to choices (yes, choices).
Here’s the myth: our habits develop over time. Here’s the truth: we develop our habits over time.
Here’s the myth: our habits develop over time. Here’s the truth: we develop our habits over time. Click To Tweet
Do you see the subtle difference? Do you see how it matters?
We were made for a purpose. Our habits will either serve that purpose or hinder it.
We were made for a purpose. Our habits will either serve that purpose or hinder it. Click To Tweet
One of the most impactful books I have read in recent years is The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg. In this book, he describes something called the Habit Loop, which is the way our brains work to develop habits (both positive and negative).
First, there is a cue. This is something that happens often enough that it serves as a spark to activate the habit we have developed.
The cue is followed by a routine. This is our default behavior in response to the cue. It is the action that we would describe as the habit.
We understand that part. Something happens and we do something in response. If it happens repeatedly it becomes a habit.
The part that we don’t understand as well is why we choose the routine when the cue happens. That “why” is the part of the Habit Loop called the reward. We do what we do because we like the result.
Wait a minute! What about bad habits? Am I saying we like the results of our bad habits? I’m saying we are most comfortable with the feeling we get at the moment. We may feel guilty later, but at the moment, we derive some sense of pleasure.
Therefore, the biggest mistake we make in trying to develop better habits is that we put our effort into changing the routine.
Here’s the secret sauce: If we want to change the routine, we must change the reward. We will not consistently behave better until we identify and choose a better payoff. AND the most effective way of identifying a better reward is to choose one that is consistent with the kind of life we want to live.
The biggest mistake we make in trying to develop better habits is that we put our effort into changing the routine instead of identifying a new reward. Click To Tweet
There is an interesting case study of this in Psalm 101. In eight short verses, the Psalmist states twelve times some variation of “I will.” He states his commitment to specific behaviors because the reward he seeks is a life that honors God.
“I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise. I will be careful to lead a blameless life—when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate. My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; the one whose walk is blameless will minister to me. No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence. Every morning I will put to silence all the wicked in the land; I will cut off every evildoer from the city of the Lord.”
If we truly understand that our lives matter to God and we want to develop lifestyles that honor him then we must actively choose the rewards that lead to better routines.
What life-changing habits do you need to embrace … or abandon? Will you?
Be amazing, my friend.
