You have probably seen some of these classic church bulletin bloopers, but here are a few, just in case you haven’t. I offer these as examples of why every church needs a proofreader before anything goes to print. I offer my commentary on each one because, well … I can.
- “Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.” (Every 10 year-old boy will think this is the greatest missionary speaker ever.)
- “Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.” (It is actually not all that unusual to hear nursery workers crying.)
- (A two-fer): “Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.” AND “Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.” (Someone once told me, “I never knew what true happiness was until I got married. And then it was too late.”)
- “The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.” (This church is really serious about this “casual” thing.)
- “The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.” (This may be how many people actually feel about those unscheduled knocks on their doors.)
- “Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.” (I’m not sure whether it was Charlene or her singing that rubbed them the wrong way.)
- “Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.” (Sometimes “no comment” is better than anything I could add.)
In full disclosure, I will admit that I am not immune to the rush of getting things to print. I once printed the words, “Jesus who died, now GORIFIED” in the church bulletin. I suppose that is technically true, given the means of His crucifixion, but it was not really in keeping with the spirit of the song that celebrated the reality of “Jesus who died, now GLORIFIED, King of all kings.”
I also once referred, in a sermon, to the “half-native nakeds” pictured in National Geographic magazine. Sometimes words just don’t come out the way you intended.
In church yesterday, I heard this closing encouragement: “Don’t fight on your own. Fight with the church.” I thought to myself (just before I tweeted that quote), “I think I have been in that church!” I know that he meant, “Don’t struggle with life by yourself. Let the church have your back.” He was talking about the value of the community of faith.
The New Testament writers used the phrase “one another” 38 times to describe how followers of Christ should live in community. If we will live out those instructions, our occasional verbal fumbles won’t be a big deal.
Question: What was the last verbal faux pas you found amusing? What was the last one you found offensive? What do you need to do to be sure you respond appropriately?
Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your perspective.
