Have you ever been invited to play a game of Ping?
(This is not to be confused with the early video game “Pong” that some people my age played as kids).
You’re probably familiar with “Ping Pong” or “Table Tennis” as it is known in competitive circles.
There are so many similar “racket” or “paddle” sports: ping pong, tennis, pickle ball, badminton.
The common elements are a center net, some paddle/racket held by the participants, and some object that is batted between the two opposing participants.
But have you ever heard of “Ping?”
Probably not, because it’s a game I made up specifically for this post.
Here’s what Ping looks like:
You have two players on opposite ends of a ping pong table. The net and the ball are present, just like regular ping pong.
So far, so good.
Now, here’s the twist:
Only one player has a paddle. The other player’s hands are tied behind his back.
So Player #1 just swats ball after ball while Player #2 either watches it go by or gets smacked by it.
It’s really not much of a game. Player #1 takes get to do whatever he wants while Player #2 just stands there and takes it.
How do you like my game? Any takers?
Here’s the point I’m trying to make in this fifth installment in a series of posts (One, Two, Three, and Four) around the topic of the art of healthy conversation:
It’s not a conversation if it’s only ping with no pong!
The dirty little secret is that we would all probably be ok with being Player #1 (and we have, in fact, probably played a conversation or two in that way). We get to overwhelm the other person with our wit, wisdom, opinions, frustrations, proclamations, and pontifications. They just have to passively stand there and take it—either watching our words fly by or being stung by them.
But nobody—and I mean NO BODY—wants to be Player #2.
When I was in college I played a LOT of ping pong. And my competitive nature resulted in my wanting to win every game. Of course! Who wants to lose?
But I always played with friends.
We tried, of course, to outdo each other. But we also talked, laughed, and shared life through every game. And it was way more fun to play with someone who could hold their own than it was to wipe up the table with a beginner who could barely play.
If it had only been about winning or dominating, we would have quit playing.
What if we saw conversations as opportunities to bring out the best in each other as we do life together, rather than competitions to win or to dominate our opponents?
What if, in every conversation, we recognized the other person’s Pong is as important as our Ping?
We might all get better at conversation and at life.
And that would be amazing.
Be amazing today, my friend.
